Archive for April, 2008

30
Apr
08

music review: simian mobile disco

You know what I’m tired of? I’m tired of mentioning techno music and having people automatically assume I’m talking about trance-a-holic, glow-stick wielding zombies, enslaved by the same tired, coma-enducing loops that have been pumped out by auto-pilot artists like Paul Oakenfold and Tiesto since 1997.

Thankfully, the signs are becoming more and more clear that the days of “uplifting” yet sorely castrated dance music are finally coming to a close. Artists such as LCD Soundsystem, The Presets and Hot Chip have been rolling a tank across the over-produced, over-polished, over-layered ad nauseum sounds of prance-trance and giving techno what it’s needed for some time now: balls. 

(Click below for more and an MP3…)

Continue reading ‘music review: simian mobile disco’

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29
Apr
08

best buy strikes back!

Mere hours after I had written off the boys in blue & yellow based on their featherweight 23rd street store, they throw themselves back into the ring, this time ready to punch your teeth out with the heavyweight known as the Columbus Circle location (62nd & Bway). Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon this three-story contender:

I almost wanted to take my shoes off before coming inside!

Continue reading ‘best buy strikes back!’

27
Apr
08

dark knight…

Don’t have time for a big post tonight, but I wanted to share this awesomely spooky shot I grabbed as the clouds rolled in, no doubt in preparation for tomorrow’s ritualistic “watering of the city,” also known as rain.  When I look at this picture, all I can think of is that this city truly is Batman’s town – the rest of us just live in it.  A shiver runs down my spine; The Dark Knight better be good.

26
Apr
08

a few random bits from NYC

It rained tonight unexpectedly and this is how I dealt with it.  When I say unexpectedly, I mean the forecast called for rain but when I looked outside this morning (i.e. 1pm), it was nice and sunny so I decided to ignore the advice of the people who went to meteorological school for four years because I didn’t want to carry an umbrella.  Let this picture be a cautionary tale to those who contemplate being equally lazy on a potentially rainy day.  Speaking of weather, it’s going to be a balmy 90 degrees in LA on Saturday but a far more spring-like 72 here in Manhattan.   I don’t know what gods were so angered they made NY weather better than LA’s, but whatever you guys are up to, keep it going!

Pardon my California French, but what the fuck is this?  People come from all over the world to feast upon the nirvana known as New York Pizza.  Why would any New Yorker in their right mind want to turn their stomachs over to the West Coast’s pale imitation?  Attention NY: if you really want to try California pizza, here’s what you do:

  • Scrape all the cheese and sauce off two slices of NY heaven and slap them together.  This will approximate the crust thickness of the Angelino slice.
  • Dip a paint brush in a bottle of old, moldy Ragu and very gently trace a super thin layer of sauce on top of the slice.  If you can taste it, you’ve used too much.
  • Go to the 99 cent store, grab a can of spray cheese and unload the whole thing as the top layer.
  • Microwave on high for 90 seconds.
  • Let sit under a heat lamp for six hours.
  • “Enjoy.”

Seriously, if anyone in NY is even contemplating a slice of California Pizza, Wired put it best when they said: It costs $482.79 to get a decent pizza in San Francisco — $17 for the pie, $85 for cab fare, and $378.80 for the flight to New York.  Read the full story here (thanks to Shane for sending in the link!).

I saw this guy near Times Square last night.  Gotta love the sense of humor of NY’s homeless.  If they ever got together and did standup they’d kill.  And yes, I gave the guy a dollar to take his picture (and some cookies, because Starbuck’s wouldn’t give me change of a $20 unless I bought something).  Fascists.

Went to MOMA today to check out Take your time: Olafur Eliasson, a new exhibition of immersive environments constructed from light and color.  This unretouched photo is just one example of the cool stuff you’ll be able to see if you go between now and June 30 (and you should).  If you have any clue how to use your camera you’ll be able to get some incredible images… here are just a few of the ones I got:

Continue reading ‘a few random bits from NYC’

25
Apr
08

al-qaeda: a target suggestion

Dear Al-Qaeda operatives,

If you’re planning another terrorist attack in New York, please consider this building for your next target:

This is one ugly building

It’s the new hotel on Rivington street on the Lower East Side of Manhattan.  It’s absolutely hideous and stands out like a giant, black and blue sore thumb, marring a landscape otherwise unadulterated by oddly shaped, tall buildings.  It destroys the “simple, local neighborhood” feel of the Lower East Side and really needs to go away.  Think of what an easy target it would be!  A pilot with no experience at all could hit this thing with one eye closed.  I hear they have copies of “The Satanic Verses” in every room and some educated women working there.  Go get ’em!

24
Apr
08

We’ll be here all week folks

Some people accuse NY of being too serious and that it needs to “lighten up.”  To that, your average New Yorker would reply “go fuck yourself,” but I have decided to let these pictures do the talking.  All you have to do is keep your eyes open and NY provides a bounty of comic relief!

I shall indeed (click below for more amusing images)

Continue reading ‘We’ll be here all week folks’

23
Apr
08

new york: day three (part 2)

On the way home from J&R we saw this ad for the upcoming Spike TV airing of all three Star Wars movies (plus the prequels).  I don’t know exactly when they’re airing because WHO CARES??  I have to guess a recent meeting inside Spike TV went something like this:

SPIKE TV PRESIDENT: Let’s call Lucas and pay a lot of money so we can air all the Star Wars movie.

SPIKE TV PROGRAMMING GUY: But everyone has seen those movies a million times.

SPIKE TV PRESIDENT: So what?

SPIKE TV PROGRAMMING GUY: Dude, everyone who even watches our channel already has them all on DVD.  If they want to watch Star Wars they just pop one on.  And it looks and sounds better.

SPIKE TV PRESIDENT: So what?

SPIKE TV PROGRAMMING GUY: Who’s going to watch them on Spike TV full of commercials when they can just watch it on DVD?

SPIKE TV PRESIDENT: People who don’t have DVD players.

SPIKE TV PROGRAMMING GUY:  Yeah but we specifically target the demographic that has DVD players, flat screens and all that stuff.

SPIKE TV PRESIDENT: So what?

At least it most likely went something like that because I’m a giant, Star Wars-loving nerd and all my friends are giant, Star Wars-loving nerds and no one I know is planning to watch it.  Our DVD players could explode tomorrow and STILL we wouldn’t watch Star Wars on cable TV with an assload of commercials.  What are they thinking?  At least the ads are funny, maybe when Lucas comes after them for the license fee they can’t afford to pay because no one watched they can sell posters of the ads.  Anyway, back to NY and my skateboarder story…

Walking home from J&R, we passed the courts again.  Across the street is this sculpture park (the sculpture is on the left) where a small group of skateboard rats were doing what skateboard rats do: nothing.  You know the drill – they skate maybe five or six feet at a time and then jump up and flip the skateboard, attempting to land on it again after it’s been flipped.  They usually miss.  It’s boring and noisy and makes them all look like pussies.  Where’s the excitement?  Where’s the “living on the edge and skirting death” attitude they want us to think they have?  Because all I ever see these losers do is try to flip their board and miss.  I want some YouTube video action!  So, after watching all these skaterats sail back and forth past an obvious ramp-cum-accident-waiting-to-happen (the black marbled thing with hand rails above), I loudly suggested how much they were boring me and one of them should attempt to skate down the “ramp.”  The kid in the blue & white striped shirt said “I’ll do it if you give me ten bucks.”  All I had was a twenty and a one and I wasn’t going to waste a twenty this so I said, “oh well, never mind, all I have is a buck.”  He responded “ok, I work cheap.”

So he takes the buck and mounts up!  I couldn’t believe it!  He stood on top of the ramp and took his time, staring down at the 10 foot drop in front of him (probably also thinking about YouTube videos).  After a minute of his friends egging him on, he hopped on the board, flew down and landed the pavement – upright and still on the board!  Success!  It actually looked pretty easy and he did it again.  A few of the other guys got on top of the ramp to try it themselves but they chickened out at the moment of truth.  Still, it didn’t matter, the group’s energy and excitement went through the roof and suddenly another boring day hanging out at the park was thrown off the tracks and transformed into something fun.  And the kid in the blue?  He was walking on air, stoaked and proud that he had the courage to take on a random challenge and prove to me – and himself- that he had the right stuff.   Did I mention what that sculpture is called?  Here’s the plaque:

 

I bet that kid has no idea.




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