Archive for the 'Misc' Category

05
Feb
20

OH THE (SUPER) IRONY

Christopher Reeve did his most famous photo shoot in front of the NYC skyline. Here’s the call Helen Slater got:

SLATER: Where are we doing our big publicity shoot tomorrow?

HER AGENT: In the Popeye’s parking lot.

SLATER: That’s where we’re meeting?

AGENT: No that’s where the shoot is.

SLATER: Is there an awesome skyline visible from there? Something emotional and stirring?

AGENT: There’s a Popeye’s.

SLATER: Yes I know but what’s at that location that makes it the perfect place for a Supergirl photo shoot?

AGENT: Popeye’s.

SLATER: You mean we’re actually taking A-list publicity photos that will be printed in every newspaper and magazine across the country in front of a Popeye’s?

AGENT: Yes.

SLATER: But these images will last forever! Chris took his pictures in front of the Metropolis skyline. They are iconic!

AGENT: If you look closely at the skyline I think you can see a Popeye’s.

SLATER: But what does it *say*? Superman standing in front of the city he has sworn to protect has emotional resonance. It’s powerful. What does Supergirl standing in front of Popeye’s mean? What’s the message? What am I protecting?

AGENT: Have you had their chicken sandwich?

SLATER: No.

AGENT: Trust me, one day this will all make sense.

01
Oct
17

MOJO’S TOUR DE BBQ: THE PROPER PIG

properpig01

Every once in a great while you have a meal that transcends existence; a plate of food that becomes a religious experience and suddenly life has meaning.

Today, at lunch in Ohio, I found god in some beef brisket.

Just outside Cleveland resides a modest, mid-sized vegetarian restaurant called “Cleveland Vegan.”  I’ve never eaten there and certainly never met the owner, yet I can imagine (with great accuracy, I presume) his thoughts and feelings when, a few doors down, opened a new, modest, mid-sized restaurant.

But this wasn’t just close-quarters competition for local dining dollars – this was practically a declaration of war on their very souls; a restaurant that would fly in the face of vegan values and not just serve meat, but only meat.

It was a BBQ restaurant called “The Proper Pig” and it lead me to wonder – if vegansim is considered to be a pure diet for the enlightened, where does that leave meat?  Is it devil food for the unholy?  If that’s the case then forgive me father, for I have sinned and visited the pit of hell!

And it’s a delicious BBQ pit.

My usual, go-to satanic meal is ribs and pulled pork, but I noticed the menu steered heavily towards smoked meats like brisket, sausage and even turkey.  I generally ignore beef BBQ, but then I watched the chef pull a new hunk of brisket out of the smoker and perform a miracle:  he reached in and removed the center bone with two fingers.  And I don’t mean his thumb and forefinger (which gives you plenty of grabbing power) no, it was between his index and middle finger and was removed more easily than panties from a prom queen.

So I got the brisket and figured I’d try the smoked turkey for something new.

properpig03

Can I say “holy smokes!” without being too ironic?  This wasn’t beef, it was candy.  Protein should not taste so decadent. The brisket was easily cut with a plastic fork and tasted like… there really is nothing in my realm of culinary experience to compare it to. It was simply unbelievable. It was like sweet, salty, spicy beef from a magic cow. A magic baby cow. The owner revealed it’s slow cooked for sixteen hours and has a special, secret dry rub.  My guess is it’s rubbed up against Scarlett Johansson.

Now let’s talk turkey.

I’ve never had smoked turkey before and it’s a pretty rare item in the BBQ underworld.  However, after the revelation of Proper Pig brisket, my faith was unshakable.  As soon as the fork made contact with the bird, the meat simply broke apart; it was so supple and moist the fork simply couldn’t grab hold!  With little choice,  I was forced to eat like a heathen and use my hands.  But was it good?

I may never make it to heaven, but now I know what Thanksgiving with God must taste like.  It was as if the turkey had grown up in New Orleans, playing smooth jazz and reciting poetry before volunteering itself for cooking because it knew it would taste so damn good.

Rounding out the perfect meal was their home made banana pudding with crushed vanilla wafers.  Sin in a cup, basically.  I took a pound of brisket back to the hotel to save for later, only to discover that evening that there was no microwave on site!  But it didn’t matter.  Slice by slice, I devoured my decadent treat, savoring each bite like it was the last piece of chocolate on earth.

I can’t recall the last time I went to church but, after a visit to the Proper Pig, I felt as if not just my stomach, but my soul had been nourished.  It is indeed holy ground.

If you’re within a tank of gas of Lakewood, Ohio, just go.

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24
Feb
10

it’s alive!

Hey everyone… 1,000 pardons for not posting anything sooner, but as many of you have summised I am indeed working on some new material I can’t really discuss yet.  Of course, that’s no reason for not telling everyone sooner!  The fact is, after a year of freelance, going back to a regular work schedule really zapped the life out of me.  I started up soon after my last post, and when I get home i’m just so spent blogging really took a back seat – the last thing I want to do at home is sit back down in front of the computer… Continue reading ‘it’s alive!’

16
Nov
09

and the winner is…

XXLKirk-combo

So the polls are closed and the results are… interesting.  During the first few days of voting, the “Khhhaaaaannnn!!” image was well ahead with double the votes of everyone else.  The race for second was very close indeed, and “Animated XL Kirk” was the front runner for last place.  Then I opened the floor up to “Kobayashi Maru” tactics.  Within 24 hours, the results had completely changed – the number of votes had doubled, with “Action Figure” firmly in first place, followed closely (in order) by The Horse, Tribbles and Animated XXL.  “Khaaaannn!!” was now in last place (ironically, I know for a fact that Jon (creator of the “Khhhaaaaannn!!” image) was the only one not cheating).  But things really took an unexpected turn over the weekend…

Continue reading ‘and the winner is…’

27
Oct
09

secret easter egg hiding in “the plan”

CylonEasterBunny-mod

Today is the big day, ladies and gentlemen!  Battlestar Galactica: The Plan  hits the shelves on DVD and Blu-ray, and with it so ends the final chapter of the new BSG.  I’m just as sad to see the show come to and end as the rest of you, but don’t get too misty-eyed on me, your old uncle Mojo has a little ‘going away’ present in store!  Of course, each and every one of you should pick up “The Plan” simply because it’s an intriguing film and features a juicy performance by the best bad guy in years, Dean “Cavil” Stockwell – but just in case you were looking for further motivation to add this DVD to your collection, it’s also hiding a very special easter egg…

Continue reading ‘secret easter egg hiding in “the plan”’

07
Oct
09

NSFW: video wallpaper #1 – Crabtasm

 I was in a Koreatown supermarket recently and saw this little drama unfolding.  I thought if I kept the edges of the tank just outside of frame, the viewer might not immediately know what they were looking at (at the end of the video I pull out and reveal all).  In any case, watching these crabs parade around was mesmerizing and terrifying all at the same time.  Are they just looking for space?  Do they think if they keep piling up on each other they’ll create a crab Tower-Of-Babel and escape?  All I know is you probably shouldn’t let your kids watch this right before bed [NOTE: Click the gadget in the bottom right corner of video for full screen and maximum effect].  The only thing I can’t shake is the feeling that this video could use a better soundtrack – perhaps some music?  Wait a sec, I know exactly what this video needs…

Continue reading ‘NSFW: video wallpaper #1 – Crabtasm’

29
Sep
09

Why michael moore is like star trek

 

MooreTrek

 You know it’s a slow month for new sci-fi movies when Movie Club members can be found taking in the latest political documentary!  But seriously folks, we went to see the new Michael Moore movie “Capitalism: A Love Story” on purpose.  Why?   Because we love Michael Moore.  In fact, I’ll go as far to say that all true Star Trek fans should love Michael Moore… Continue reading ‘Why michael moore is like star trek’

12
Sep
09

september 11 sunset (aka how to spot meter on your 3GS)

911-sunset-A

I was across the street from Universal Studios visiting some old friends when I noticed one of the most incredible sunsets in recent memory – somehow appropriate on this day of remembrance.  I snapped a few shots to share with you – click through for another (both are handy wallpaper size).

Continue reading ‘september 11 sunset (aka how to spot meter on your 3GS)’

06
Aug
09

shafted by shatner

meanshat

I’m not sure how public this story has gotten, but mere hours after I posted images of William Shatner in 3D, the following events unfolded (cooincidence?).  I thought I’d turn the mike over to my good friend Howard Cronson, who is at the center of the action…

It’s Thursday, August 6, and I’m sitting at home watching the Red Sox play the Yankees. As a devout Boston Red Sox fan living near Boston, during a game this is the only spot you’ll find me in.   In fact, it would take an Act Of God to pull me away from a Sox game.

Well, an Act Of God or William Shatner, that is.  So why does he mock me so?

Continue reading ‘shafted by shatner’

05
Aug
09

should i buy an iphone?

iphone_ass

I’ve been on the fence for a while about one of these but it’s renewal time at AT&T and if there was ever a perfect time for me to pull the trigger, it’s now.   The only problem is I abhore change;  I love my current Samsung A717 clamshell and the idea of joining the Cult-Of-Mac makes me a little gunshy.  So, I’ll open the floor to all Darth Mojo reader – after all, you guys are my conscience, my moral compass and my most trusted advisors.  Today, you can be my financial planners.  Should I or shouldn’t I?  I’ll even turn off the comment approvals for this one!  ‘Ave at it and either talk me into – or out of – an iPhone 3GS!

17
Jul
09

cheap 3D glasses at Blockbuster Video!

M-G_3D

Right now, if you walk into any Blockbuster Video, you can pick yourself up a pair of 3D glasses for only fifteen cents.  Talk about a bargain!  There have been several DVD and Blu-Ray releases of late that use an updated version of the old red & blue anaglyph 3D, only this time the opposing colors are green and magenta.  They’re supposed to make flesh tones look more accurate and I must say the color rendition is a touch more realistic.  In any case, even if you have no plans to watch a 3D movie at home anytime soon, you never know when you’ll find some cool 3D images on the web and wish you had a pair of these at the ready.  So what are you waiting for?  Go out this weekend and pick some up!

17
Jul
09

the final frontease

Saturn_only

Ladies and gentlemen and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri, here is the third and final “teaser image” of the new whatchamacallit I’ll be announcing on Monday.   Yes, that means this weekend I’ll be slaving long and hard at putting together a post with all sorts of juicy details and cool stuff to look at.   I wish I could tell you more, but I have to get busy with another post that is totally unrelated to this, I swear.  It will be just above this one…

14
Jul
09

another hint

Trek_Len_tease2

Last week I posted a small snippet of an image (just a few posts down) and said it had something to do with a cool new project I’m working on.   There were a lot of great guesses, but no one quite hit the nail on the head (and, no, as far as I am aware no one is redoing the visual effects from “First Contact”).  In about a week I’ll blow the lid off, but in the meantime I thought I’d be a cruel, cruel man and post another hint.  See what you can make of it!

08
Jul
09

stay tuned!

Trek_Lent_tease

Hey gang!  You may have noticed  a distinct lack of postings lately… no, I haven’t been kidnapped by Borellian Noman or “silenced” by JJ Abrams, but I have  been hard at work on a very cool new project that is slated to premiere in a few short weeks at San Diego Comic Con.  At the moment, mum’s the word, but I promise to fill all of you in on the details shortly before the rest of the world finds out.  Suffice it to say that I’m giddy with excitement and can promise you that what we’re about to unleash boldly goes where no one has gone before.  The image above is a tiny hint of what we’ve got in store, so stay tuned!

05
Jun
09

new star wars trailer released, fans go apeshit

old_republic

A few days ago a trailer was released for The Old Republic, an upcoming Star Wars  MMOG (Massively Multiplayer Online Game).  It’s a pretty impressive piece of animation and while it doesn’t actually represent gameplay, it has served its purpose – to get people excited about the game.  For the most part, the mini-movie is an action piece pitting Jedi vs Sith and if you’re looking for a three minute fix of Star Wars  action, you’ll be hard pressed to do better.   Most of the comments being left by fans on the websites are along the lines of “wow, this is so much better than anything in the prequels, too bad the movies weren’t like this!”  But what do the folks at DarthMojo think?  Let’s find out…

Continue reading ‘new star wars trailer released, fans go apeshit’

01
May
09

music post: aurora borealis

kalevala

Anyone out there remember the KLF?  Back in the early 90s, they more or less defined the pop-techno genre, bringing electronic beats to the masses by scoring several chart hits, most notably 3am Eternal.  What you probably don’t know is that the KLF were really a duo of UK-based performance artists who experimented heavily with music and the nature of pop culture icons.  They played around with sampling before most people even knew what it was and had all copies of their first album, 1987, destroyed (by court order) for sampling too many well-known pop songs.  Their success was entirely accidental, and, having no desire to actually become pop stars, they announced (while on top of the charts) that they were leaving the music business and deleted their back-catalog.  Several years later, under the name K-Foundation, they burned the last million pounds they had earned as the KLF.  But they didn’t completely stop making music…

Continue reading ‘music post: aurora borealis’

15
Apr
09

NSFW: best root beer float ever (updated with contest!)

root_beer_float_1

As I was lying in my hospital bed, mentally skirting the edge of another galaxy (thanks to the combination of two shots of Morpha, Vicodin and a muscle relaxant), I realized that it would be a big mistake for me to die without sharing with the world my own, personal recipie for the Best Root Beet Float ever.  So, dear readers, I now present you with my miracle drink and implore all of you to hunt down the ingredients and indulge…

Continue reading ‘NSFW: best root beer float ever (updated with contest!)’




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