Archive for the 'Misc' Category

01
Oct
17

MOJO’S TOUR DE BBQ: THE PROPER PIG

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Every once in a great while you have a meal that transcends existence; a plate of food that becomes a religious experience and suddenly life has meaning.

Today, at lunch in Ohio, I found god in some beef brisket.

Just outside Cleveland resides a modest, mid-sized vegetarian restaurant called “Cleveland Vegan.”  I’ve never eaten there and certainly never met the owner, yet I can imagine (with great accuracy, I presume) his thoughts and feelings when, a few doors down, opened a new, modest, mid-sized restaurant.

But this wasn’t just close-quarters competition for local dining dollars – this was practically a declaration of war on their very souls; a restaurant that would fly in the face of vegan values and not just serve meat, but only meat.

It was a BBQ restaurant called “The Proper Pig” and it lead me to wonder – if vegansim is considered to be a pure diet for the enlightened, where does that leave meat?  Is it devil food for the unholy?  If that’s the case then forgive me father, for I have sinned and visited the pit of hell!

And it’s a delicious BBQ pit.

My usual, go-to satanic meal is ribs and pulled pork, but I noticed the menu steered heavily towards smoked meats like brisket, sausage and even turkey.  I generally ignore beef BBQ, but then I watched the chef pull a new hunk of brisket out of the smoker and perform a miracle:  he reached in and removed the center bone with two fingers.  And I don’t mean his thumb and forefinger (which gives you plenty of grabbing power) no, it was between his index and middle finger and was removed more easily than panties from a prom queen.

So I got the brisket and figured I’d try the smoked turkey for something new.

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Can I say “holy smokes!” without being too ironic?  This wasn’t beef, it was candy.  Protein should not taste so decadent. The brisket was easily cut with a plastic fork and tasted like… there really is nothing in my realm of culinary experience to compare it to. It was simply unbelievable. It was like sweet, salty, spicy beef from a magic cow. A magic baby cow. The owner revealed it’s slow cooked for sixteen hours and has a special, secret dry rub.  My guess is it’s rubbed up against Scarlett Johansson.

Now let’s talk turkey.

I’ve never had smoked turkey before and it’s a pretty rare item in the BBQ underworld.  However, after the revelation of Proper Pig brisket, my faith was unshakable.  As soon as the fork made contact with the bird, the meat simply broke apart; it was so supple and moist the fork simply couldn’t grab hold!  With little choice,  I was forced to eat like a heathen and use my hands.  But was it good?

I may never make it to heaven, but now I know what Thanksgiving with God must taste like.  It was as if the turkey had grown up in New Orleans, playing smooth jazz and reciting poetry before volunteering itself for cooking because it knew it would taste so damn good.

Rounding out the perfect meal was their home made banana pudding with crushed vanilla wafers.  Sin in a cup, basically.  I took a pound of brisket back to the hotel to save for later, only to discover that evening that there was no microwave on site!  But it didn’t matter.  Slice by slice, I devoured my decadent treat, savoring each bite like it was the last piece of chocolate on earth.

I can’t recall the last time I went to church but, after a visit to the Proper Pig, I felt as if not just my stomach, but my soul had been nourished.  It is indeed holy ground.

If you’re within a tank of gas of Lakewood, Ohio, just go.

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24
Feb
10

it’s alive!

Hey everyone… 1,000 pardons for not posting anything sooner, but as many of you have summised I am indeed working on some new material I can’t really discuss yet.  Of course, that’s no reason for not telling everyone sooner!  The fact is, after a year of freelance, going back to a regular work schedule really zapped the life out of me.  I started up soon after my last post, and when I get home i’m just so spent blogging really took a back seat – the last thing I want to do at home is sit back down in front of the computer… Continue reading ‘it’s alive!’

16
Nov
09

and the winner is…

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So the polls are closed and the results are… interesting.  During the first few days of voting, the “Khhhaaaaannnn!!” image was well ahead with double the votes of everyone else.  The race for second was very close indeed, and “Animated XL Kirk” was the front runner for last place.  Then I opened the floor up to “Kobayashi Maru” tactics.  Within 24 hours, the results had completely changed – the number of votes had doubled, with “Action Figure” firmly in first place, followed closely (in order) by The Horse, Tribbles and Animated XXL.  “Khaaaannn!!” was now in last place (ironically, I know for a fact that Jon (creator of the “Khhhaaaaannn!!” image) was the only one not cheating).  But things really took an unexpected turn over the weekend…

Continue reading ‘and the winner is…’

27
Oct
09

secret easter egg hiding in “the plan”

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Today is the big day, ladies and gentlemen!  Battlestar Galactica: The Plan  hits the shelves on DVD and Blu-ray, and with it so ends the final chapter of the new BSG.  I’m just as sad to see the show come to and end as the rest of you, but don’t get too misty-eyed on me, your old uncle Mojo has a little ‘going away’ present in store!  Of course, each and every one of you should pick up “The Plan” simply because it’s an intriguing film and features a juicy performance by the best bad guy in years, Dean “Cavil” Stockwell – but just in case you were looking for further motivation to add this DVD to your collection, it’s also hiding a very special easter egg…

Continue reading ‘secret easter egg hiding in “the plan”’

07
Oct
09

NSFW: video wallpaper #1 – Crabtasm

 I was in a Koreatown supermarket recently and saw this little drama unfolding.  I thought if I kept the edges of the tank just outside of frame, the viewer might not immediately know what they were looking at (at the end of the video I pull out and reveal all).  In any case, watching these crabs parade around was mesmerizing and terrifying all at the same time.  Are they just looking for space?  Do they think if they keep piling up on each other they’ll create a crab Tower-Of-Babel and escape?  All I know is you probably shouldn’t let your kids watch this right before bed [NOTE: Click the gadget in the bottom right corner of video for full screen and maximum effect].  The only thing I can’t shake is the feeling that this video could use a better soundtrack – perhaps some music?  Wait a sec, I know exactly what this video needs…

Continue reading ‘NSFW: video wallpaper #1 – Crabtasm’

29
Sep
09

Why michael moore is like star trek

 

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 You know it’s a slow month for new sci-fi movies when Movie Club members can be found taking in the latest political documentary!  But seriously folks, we went to see the new Michael Moore movie “Capitalism: A Love Story” on purpose.  Why?   Because we love Michael Moore.  In fact, I’ll go as far to say that all true Star Trek fans should love Michael Moore… Continue reading ‘Why michael moore is like star trek’

12
Sep
09

september 11 sunset (aka how to spot meter on your 3GS)

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I was across the street from Universal Studios visiting some old friends when I noticed one of the most incredible sunsets in recent memory – somehow appropriate on this day of remembrance.  I snapped a few shots to share with you – click through for another (both are handy wallpaper size).

Continue reading ‘september 11 sunset (aka how to spot meter on your 3GS)’




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