On the way home from J&R we saw this ad for the upcoming Spike TV airing of all three Star Wars movies (plus the prequels). I don’t know exactly when they’re airing because WHO CARES?? I have to guess a recent meeting inside Spike TV went something like this:
SPIKE TV PRESIDENT: Let’s call Lucas and pay a lot of money so we can air all the Star Wars movie.
SPIKE TV PROGRAMMING GUY: But everyone has seen those movies a million times.
SPIKE TV PRESIDENT: So what?
SPIKE TV PROGRAMMING GUY: Dude, everyone who even watches our channel already has them all on DVD. If they want to watch Star Wars they just pop one on. And it looks and sounds better.
SPIKE TV PRESIDENT: So what?
SPIKE TV PROGRAMMING GUY: Who’s going to watch them on Spike TV full of commercials when they can just watch it on DVD?
SPIKE TV PRESIDENT: People who don’t have DVD players.
SPIKE TV PROGRAMMING GUY: Yeah but we specifically target the demographic that has DVD players, flat screens and all that stuff.
SPIKE TV PRESIDENT: So what?
At least it most likely went something like that because I’m a giant, Star Wars-loving nerd and all my friends are giant, Star Wars-loving nerds and no one I know is planning to watch it. Our DVD players could explode tomorrow and STILL we wouldn’t watch Star Wars on cable TV with an assload of commercials. What are they thinking? At least the ads are funny, maybe when Lucas comes after them for the license fee they can’t afford to pay because no one watched they can sell posters of the ads. Anyway, back to NY and my skateboarder story…
Walking home from J&R, we passed the courts again. Across the street is this sculpture park (the sculpture is on the left) where a small group of skateboard rats were doing what skateboard rats do: nothing. You know the drill – they skate maybe five or six feet at a time and then jump up and flip the skateboard, attempting to land on it again after it’s been flipped. They usually miss. It’s boring and noisy and makes them all look like pussies. Where’s the excitement? Where’s the “living on the edge and skirting death” attitude they want us to think they have? Because all I ever see these losers do is try to flip their board and miss. I want some YouTube video action! So, after watching all these skaterats sail back and forth past an obvious ramp-cum-accident-waiting-to-happen (the black marbled thing with hand rails above), I loudly suggested how much they were boring me and one of them should attempt to skate down the “ramp.” The kid in the blue & white striped shirt said “I’ll do it if you give me ten bucks.” All I had was a twenty and a one and I wasn’t going to waste a twenty this so I said, “oh well, never mind, all I have is a buck.” He responded “ok, I work cheap.”
So he takes the buck and mounts up! I couldn’t believe it! He stood on top of the ramp and took his time, staring down at the 10 foot drop in front of him (probably also thinking about YouTube videos). After a minute of his friends egging him on, he hopped on the board, flew down and landed the pavement – upright and still on the board! Success! It actually looked pretty easy and he did it again. A few of the other guys got on top of the ramp to try it themselves but they chickened out at the moment of truth. Still, it didn’t matter, the group’s energy and excitement went through the roof and suddenly another boring day hanging out at the park was thrown off the tracks and transformed into something fun. And the kid in the blue? He was walking on air, stoaked and proud that he had the courage to take on a random challenge and prove to me – and himself- that he had the right stuff. Did I mention what that sculpture is called? Here’s the plaque:
I bet that kid has no idea.
Darth Mojo 
