Archive for the 'Movies' Category



14
Dec
08

movie review: day the earth stood still (2008)

PD*24979050

Whoa.  This sucked.  I mean REALLY sucked.  It starts off with an interesting premise and inspired twist on the original’s plot, but quickly descends into an incoherent mess.  Nothing makes sense, events do not logically flow into one another, I wanted the cute kid to die and the visual effects are the worst I have seen in a major Hollywood blockbuster in quite some time (what the hell, WETA, if it’s not a Peter Jackson movie do you just phone it in?).  Keanu Reeves is fine, you can’t blame him at all – it’s the fault of an unfinished script and a director who clearly just didn’t care.  And neither should you.  If you’ve never seen the original and were thinking about plopping down $10 or more to see this new one, seriously, either buy or rent the classic version and call it a day.

14
Aug
08

movie review: clone wars (spoiler-free)

Imagine you’ve just suffered through the worst possible three-course dinner; the salad was soggy, the appetizer cold and the main course was a dry, burnt, flavorless steak. As you force yourself to finish chewing that last bit of gristle (after all, you were hungry), you happily put the fork down, toss your napkin on the plate and just thank god that it’s finally over. You look forward to spending the rest of the night at home, snuggling up with a nice, smooth, pink bottle of Peptol Bismol. Suddenly the host reappears with yet another covered tray and proudly proclaims, “dessert!” You slump back in your chair, prepared for the worst. The cover is lifted up and what do you see? Twinkies! You happily pick up one of the spongy, yellow treats and scarf it down with glee, savoring every bite and thrilled as can be that it wasn’t yet another failed attempt by the host to reach beyond his means. And, ladies and gentlemen, that’s the best way I can describe Clone Wars – a much welcome Twinkie.

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13
Aug
08

clone wars: premiere photos

Sunday was the red-carpet premiere of the new Star Wars animated “movie,” Clone Wars (I put movie in quotes because it was not originally intended to be released as a film – it’s essentially the three-part opening of the animated TV series with some patching to serve as a feature).  Much of the cast and production personnel were on hand (including the Great One himself (no, not Ben Burtt)!  I’ll be posting a review in the next few days (hint: I liked it more than the prequels), but, in the meantime, feel free to peruse my cavalcade of exclusive photos…

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01
Aug
08

really classic Star Wars

The folks over at Worth 1000 (as in “a picture is worth 1000 words) recently had a Photoshop contest based on this member observation: I went to an art gallery the other day. The artworks were all right, I guess, but you know what they were missing? Wookiees. There wasn’t one Wookiee in sight. Also no Jedis, no Storm Troopers … in fact none of the artworks had any Star Wars elements at all!  And so a call to arms was made to insert Star Wars elements into famous works of art…

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28
Jul
08

movie review: Dark Knight 1 & 2

So I saw the new Batman movies last week (how’s that for timely posting?).  For the most part, they live up to the hype, but naturally I have a few bones to pick.  My friends tell me I manage to find fault with everything, and J-rod (yes that’s a real person) thinks I get some sort of perverse pleasure out of it.  He might have a point, perhaps life would be better if my reaction to everything was “wow, that was neat!” Actually, I saw Thank You For Smoking  over the weekend (starring Dark Knight’s  Aaron Eckhart) and thought it was pretty much a perfect movie, so to my dear friends: bite me.   I’ll stop finding faults in movies when Hollywood stops copiously providing them!  Anyway, on to what I what I thought of the two new Batman movies…

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11
Jul
08

the Sci-Fi Dance Mix

Every holiday season, I like to dust off the decks, dig into the Mojoplex archives and create a themed mix CD for my closest friends. It was only a few short years ago that I had spent nearly six months and my entire forture in search of the raw materials to create an epic that no DJ had dared to attempt: an entire mix of sci-fi dance music.

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18
Jun
08

Ridley Scott compares “Blade Runner” to “little orphan annie”

Saturday, June 14th was a day to remember here in Los Angeles – it was the day of the perfect Blade Runner experience. The one-time-only charity screening took place on the Warner Brothers backlot (where the film was made) and director Ridley Scott, co-screenwriter Hampton Fancher and a host of others were on hand afterwards to take questions from the audience. For die-hard Blade Runner fans, it was the event of a lifetime; not only was the film presented in reference-quality digital projection and sound, but during the Q&A we witnessed Scott and Fancher engage in a heated debate over whether Deckard is – or is not – a Replicant…

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16
Jun
08

movie review: please mess with the zohan!

Super Summer Movie Fun Club, Go!  members did their duty last week and saw the latest new release, You Don’t Mess With the Zohan. All we were expecting from Adam Sandler was a bad movie with a few genuinely funny moments, but Zohan skyrocketed past the Summer of Lowered Expectations to deliver a solid, two-and-a-half star behemoth, chock-full-o-laughs and a surprisingly ambitious story. The only thing weighing it down from reaching the coveted three-star rating was its hefty 113 minute running time, providing even more proof that Hollywood has forgotten its own words to live by, “less is more.” So what gives?  Why have movies gotten so long in the tooth?

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09
Jun
08

crystal skulls and such

How can you resist a review of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull  that begins with “Lucas, Spielberg, Ben Burtt – the legends of film making. The film masters.  Ben Burtt is the guy who did the Lightsaber sounds.” 

Ok, so this video review is from some fifteen year old kid in his basement and I really shouldn’t make fun… but come on:  “I like the fact that in the opening, in the military base, they played that music, like in Raiders of the Lost Ark; I was like man, this really feels like a classic film.”  Click inside and watch the video If you want to know how he drew this conclusion: “I don’t usually give a rating, but Raiders of the Lost Ark, Crystal Skull and Last Crusade are all tied.   And the lowest is Temple of Doom.”

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29
May
08

Sci-Ficandy: 1-7-oh-wonderful!

A fistfull of years ago, I did a few covers for Star Trek: The Magazine.  Sadly, this slickly-produced, lovingly written periodical folded in 2003, but as I was digging through my archives (in other words, as I was finally looking to see what was on a bunch of old CD-ROMS entitled “label me”), I ran across the original, hi-res renders created for the publication.   Knowing how bad I am with technology, it’s entirely possible that I put the CD in my drive and accidentally uploaded them to my blog, where anyone can download and enjoy them…  

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26
May
08

The Best Star Wars Movie You’ve Never Seen

 

Put a group of Star Wars  fans in a room for long enough and I guarantee the conversation will eventually turn to prequel bashing.  No matter how much time has passed, we just can’t seem to forgive and forget the poodoo that our long-awaited prequels turned out to be.  Personally, I felt Episode Two was the most frustrating; at it’s core, it has a complex plot and compelling story, but the film is so hampered by clumsy dialog, misplaced humor and bloated action sequences it feels like a Robert DeNiro performance trapped inside the body of Pauly Shore. Imagine a version of “Attack of the Clones” where Threepio’s head doesn’t get put on a Battle Droid’s body, Ben never visits a robot burger joint and Anakin makes no reference to “sand”. Well, Jedis and Jedettes, that movie is here and you can watch it now…

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23
May
08

movie review: indiana jones and the kingdom of the oh whatever

Ok it’s late.  I saw Indy 4 last night (this morning?) at midnight, didn’t get much sleep and spent the whole day hard at work tossing Vipers around and bitching about the movie.   It’s past midnight now so this will be a short, spoiler-free review, but see the picture up above?  That’s basically how I feel about it…

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15
May
08

MOVIE REVIEW: THE ASSASSINATION OF SPEED RACER

“We come to bury Speed Racer, not to praise him” might as well have been imprinted on the foreheads of critics as they marched into their screenings of the new Wachowski flick. Sure enough, page after page of critical vitriol has been spewed all over this film, creating the widespread perception that Speed Racer is the “must avoid” movie of the summer.

So, it was with little-to-no enthusiasm that the Super Summer Movie Fun Club – Go!  took their seats last weekend, prepared to endure the headache-inducing groan-fest that we’ve all been warned about.

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09
May
08

your speed racer weekend survival kit

With early reviews confirming what the trailer suggests, Speed Racer  is most likely going to make us all feel like we’re driving way too fast on drugs.  Millions of hyped-up moviegoers are going to leave the theater, eager to recapture the sensation of drug-fuelled autocrossing.  Should any of you decide to actually take drugs and go for a drive, you’ll be pleased to know that Mixmag (the preeminent rave music magazine), once did a study to find out exactly how driving was affected by various chemical influences… Continue reading ‘your speed racer weekend survival kit’

09
May
08

Will the real wachowskis please stand up?

The Wachowski brothers (supposedly pictured above) are infamously reclusive; while their summer Blockbuster Speed Racer is planted firmly on everyone’s radar, these guys have remained MIA.  For their entire careers, they’ve avoided the spotlight by refusing to do interviews or publicity tours and are rarely even photographed.  All this leads me to wonder: are the guys you see in the above picture actually the Wachowski brothers?

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05
May
08

iron man-ia continues! Meet Alan Doshna…

Meet Alan Doshna: Actor, writer, producer… Iron Man fan.  At some point in the not too distant past, this native Upstate-New Yorker made his own trailer and sent it to Marvel in an attempt to be cast as the lead in “Iron Man.”  For reasons known only to Stan Lee, Doshna did not get the part, but you can read his interview with himself and get the skinny on his experience at his website.  It looks like we must add Alan Doshna to the list of people who have had all their hopes and dreams shattered by the evil Robert Downey Jr!

05
May
08

movie review: iron man

So today kicked off the 2008 season for the Super Summer Movie Fun Club – Go! This clandestine organization gets together every week during the summer to see the latest and greatest Hollywood has to offer. Generally speaking, summer is when all the big movies we’ve been looking forward to finally come out; you’d think this would result in a couple of joyous, slap-happy months, but it seems like the big movies just get worse and worse and all our excitements ends with us crying in our ice cream afterwards. The good news is we now have a word to describe all of our summer movie emotions rolled into one: Anticippointment. Won’t you join us?

Anyway, Iron Man was released this weekend and the Super Summer Movie Fun Club – Go! was there, hoping for the best but prepared for the worst…

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