It was bound to happen eventually. Like any self-respecting Star Wars fan, I have one of the greatest toys every made – the Master Replicas Lightsaber. As anyone who has played with one will tell you, the first time you get ahold of one of these and activate it you get a rush that is possibly the greatest toy experience of your life. What we wouldn’t have given as kids to have one of those! Ok, it may have taken 30 years but hey, at least we have ’em now. And I don’t care how old you are, swinging one of those things around puts such a grin on your face it’s easily the second best form of stress relief in the known universe. That is, it’s all fun & games until what happened last night happens to you…
Here is a video of what the Darth Vader lightsaber replica is supposed to do [NOTE: I swear to god this is not me]:
Ah, the thrill of saber ignition! The confident hum of the swing! The power of the clash effect! The wonder of a do-it-yourself Vader costume and homegrown visual effects! Sadly, I can only experience a small fraction of these emotions ever since disaster struck last night. Here is a video of what my own personal Vader saber does now:
See? It’s really broken, i’m not just looking for attention. Ok, yes, I admit I do have a few other sabers, but this was my only red one! Plus it’s an original Master Replicas and not some crummy Hasbro wannabe (truth be told I’m not sure if Hasbro cheapened up all the sabers after they took over from MR last year, but the Hasbro Obi-Wan is noticably lighter and of lower build quality) so replacing it with a new one isn’t really an option.
I could send it in to Ultra Sabers to either have it fixed or converted to a Luxeon saber (that means they replace the stock blade with a removable one and illuminate it with a blindingly bright LED at the base of the saber), but I like the idea of having an orignal MR Vader. I suppose since all true Jedi complete their training by building their own lightsaber, I should at least learn how to fix a fake one myself if I have any hope of joining up (in the capacity as Jedi Craft Service or something).
I’ll let you know how it goes. Anyone want to place bets on whether I fix it or burn down the house trying?
In other news, as I was hunting around Youtube for appropriate saber videos, I found I wasn’t the only one to botch a home practice session:
This video proves that rotoscoping software has just gotten way too cheap and easy:
And this one proves that parental supervision of lightsaber wielding children isn’t just a good idea, it should be the law:
And, last but not least, a new item I know you’ve all been waiting for:
Lightsaber chopsticks will finally be available at the beginning of next month! Hooray! Because all good Jedi love sushi.
That’s all for now… and hey – let’s be careful out there!