15
Apr
09

NSFW: best root beer float ever (updated with contest!)

root_beer_float_1

As I was lying in my hospital bed, mentally skirting the edge of another galaxy (thanks to the combination of two shots of Morpha, Vicodin and a muscle relaxant), I realized that it would be a big mistake for me to die without sharing with the world my own, personal recipie for the Best Root Beet Float ever.  So, dear readers, I now present you with my miracle drink and implore all of you to hunt down the ingredients and indulge…

Root beer is unlike any other softdrink; there are many varieties out there, perhaps hundreds, each hand-crafted by a culinary artist to capture “just the right” combination of subtle flavors.  The same holds true for ice cream, as the once standard issue vanilla, chocolate and strawberry have been supplanted by a legion of complex and delicious varieties, also numbering in the hundreds.

Yet when it comes to the Root Beer Float, most people ignore the myriad of options and simply opt for the default – any readily available root beer and whatever vanilla ice cream happens to be within reach.

While this may result in a generally satisfactory outcome (and even I’ll admit that any sugar-rich dessert can “hit the spot” in a pinch,) when one takes the time to pair the right root beer with the right ice cream, nothing short of a taste sensation bordering on the orgasmic will reward those willing to make the effort.

Lucky for you, loyal Darth Mojo followers, yours truly has taken the time to find just the right combination to make even a night of Stargate  reruns worthwhile, provided you watch with a tasty mug of the following concoction at hand…

root_beers

Personally, I prefer a root beer that subtley favors vanilla and caramel as opposed to working-class licorice.  My favorite picks in this area (and a must for this particular recipie) are Boot Reer Root Beer, Root Beer 101 and Bulldog.  Boot Reer may be a little harder to find (yet worth the search), but Root Beer 101  is readily available at Bevmo outlets and Bulldog  can be found at most Cost Plus World Markets.

The choice for ice cream is one and only one: Haagen Daz Dulce de Leche.

dulce

Once you procure these two simple ingredients, it’s hard to go wrong: simply land a few scoops of ice cream in your favorite glass mug and fill the remaining area with one of these fine root beers.  Personally, I like to swirl the mixture with a spoon until the ice cream nearly dissolves into the glass, creating what is essentially a shake.

No matter how you choose to proceed, once these fine elements are in the glass, intense pleasure is sure to follow (important tip: the caramel from the Dulce de Leche ice cream tends to settle at the bottom of the glass, so be sure that either your straw touches bottom or your food-digging device (aka spoon) scrapes up the good stuff from below!

That is all.  Hunt down these root beers, stock up on Haagen Daz and report back.

UPDATE: Reading through your comments has brought a glaring omission to the surface – my frak-tastic drink has no name!   I’ll offer a top-secret prize to whomever invents a name that tickles my tastebuds.  [just leave your ideas in the comments section and check back to see when I’ve picked a winner.]


48 Responses to “NSFW: best root beer float ever (updated with contest!)”


  1. 1 Daniel
    April 15, 2009 at 3:40 am

    Being not from the states and such I’ve never ever had root beer (although I have been over many times). Exactly what is root beer? I did read the article in Wikipedia but man, I can’t get my head around it.
    I think the closest thing we have in Germany is Malzbier -> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitamalz

  2. 2 Melchior
    April 15, 2009 at 4:39 am

    Root Beer is a soft drink which is sweeter than Pepsi/Coke. It tends to have a vanilla/caramel/licorice flavor (as stated above) and the head on it is frothy rather than fizzy. Ginger Beer, if you have ever heard of it, is similar.

  3. April 15, 2009 at 5:24 am

    Wrong! You’re missing something! A proper Root Beer Float requires one extra secret ingredient: milk! You need just a tiny little shot of milk in there. I dunno what it does that makes the milk necessary, but by God, it’s ten times better with that little dash of milk.

  4. 4 TemporaryRootBeerAfficiando
    April 15, 2009 at 8:01 am

    It actually isn’t a beer, it’s like cream soda with caramel instead of vanilla. Think of a sweet, caramel-like soda.

  5. 5 Merlyn
    April 15, 2009 at 9:13 am

    I, too, have never tasted root beer before. Though I wanted to for some time now, but never have gotten to it. Its always been one of those things you read about from foreign countries but never actually got to try them out. Anyways, Daniel, I did a quick googleing and it recommends you to have a look at the international shelfs of Edeka and Rewe markets.
    I’ll do have a look for sure next time I’m at one. Promised!
    As I’m a big fan of nearly everything that has caramel in it I think I’ll like this special recipe alot… Thanks for sharing, Mojo, and get better soon!
    Greets,
    Merl

  6. 6 Tyson of the NW
    April 15, 2009 at 9:22 am

    It is ambrosia of the gods.

    But beyond that it is a carbonated water and syrup. In that it is very similar to your standard colas. But instead of being bitter and lingering like colas, or sweet and transitory like your clear sodas (7up or sprite), it is sweet and rich, with a lingering flavor.

  7. 7 centurion005
    April 15, 2009 at 9:38 am

    Or as they call it in bsg.Bubbling Ambrosia.

    “You cannot loosen a man’s tongue with root beer.”-old klingon proverb

  8. 8 holly
    April 15, 2009 at 10:09 am

    Try this one daniel – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Root_beer

    Thanks for the great receipe and hope you feel better soon Mojo.

  9. April 15, 2009 at 11:31 am

    I cannot wait to try this!
    Thank you for sharing!! :-)

  10. 10 darthmojo
    April 15, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    Milk? In a root beer float?? It’s so crazy it just might work… I’ll give it a try next time.

    You comments remind me that Darth Mojo readers are in international, perhaps even intergalactic, brigade and that not everyone has access to root beer. All the more reason to move!

    If any Darth Mojo regular from outside the US plans to visit Los Angeles, drop me a line and I promise to personally make you a… a… hmm, I just realized, I don’t have a name for this concoction!

    You mission is clear, everyone – NAME MY DRINK! I’ll come up with a prize for whomever invents the winning name.

  11. 11 Boris
    April 16, 2009 at 12:51 am

    Daz Mojo.

  12. 12 Andy
    April 16, 2009 at 2:31 am

    Pan Galactic Mojo Float

    BTW, how is the back now?

  13. 13 GlenH
    April 16, 2009 at 4:53 am

    Pickled fisheye. Or, if that’s too off putting for such a creamy concoction: The Smooth ‘berg.

  14. 14 Colonial Warrior
    April 16, 2009 at 5:46 am

    Essence of Confection Perfection Concoction

  15. 15 doubleofive
    April 16, 2009 at 7:32 am

    Name a root beer float for Mojo?

    This is HARD!

    Mojo’s Mojo?
    Darth Beer?
    Root Beer Frak?
    Drink of the Gods?
    Starbuck? (wait, no)

  16. 16 James
    April 16, 2009 at 10:43 am

    The Mojoto.

  17. 17 doubleofive
    April 16, 2009 at 10:51 am

    Some more:

    BSG: Beverage, Super-Good
    Tigh’s Eye
    The 14th Cylon
    Dr Cottle
    Chamalla Beer

    Sorry, I really want to win something from Mojo!

  18. April 16, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    How about an “Ambrojo”

  19. 19 Epsilon
    April 16, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    “The Float that floats Mojo’s Boat?”

  20. 20 Epsilon
    April 16, 2009 at 1:05 pm

    Or… “Mojo’s Boat Floater”!

  21. 21 holly
    April 16, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    How about
    Mojo Working?
    Darth Dulce?
    Cosmic Caramel Carom?
    Sassafrass Slinger?
    or simply.. The Wicked Float?

    I know, not very sci-fi. Not enough chocolate today.

  22. 22 Melchior
    April 16, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    Pan-Galactica Gargle Blaster.

  23. April 16, 2009 at 2:16 pm

    How about “Mojo’s Galactic Ambrosia – Premium Root Beer Floatation Dessert?” :)

  24. 25 Judd Sandage
    April 16, 2009 at 8:02 pm

    Heh, I will have to try those flavors of root beer, I have tried A&W off the tap served in a frozen mug at an A&W, its real good with a fresh cheese burger too, I have also had the Dad’s Root Beer, and the Barq’s(with bite) Root Beer , but the one I like is Henry Weinhard’s Root Beer, that is good. for the name of the Drink, I would suggest a Mojo Float, or Mojo de Leche Float.

  25. 26 Joel
    April 16, 2009 at 8:50 pm

    Name: “The Eddy Say-We-All,” or the just “The Say-all” for short.

  26. 27 Colonial Warrior
    April 16, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    My Roomie says how about RoboMojo or MojoRobo she likes the idea of naming this drink and NSFW too :)

    Some others..
    Root Cheer
    Core Reactor
    Cool Dreams
    Extreme Indulgence
    Viper Victory
    Frak-n-Float
    Magic Mojo

  27. 28 Tom McNamee
    April 17, 2009 at 2:24 am

    When the setting sun ignites the Pacific and fills your home, a tall, frosty beverage catches the light and glows with a life of its own: the Frozo Mojo Rojo.

    I now have a serious jones for one of these, and it’s the middle of the night…

    Hope you’re feeling better, and thanks for all you do!

  28. 29 Daniel
    April 17, 2009 at 3:05 am

    Bubble Nebula

  29. 30 Vince
    April 17, 2009 at 4:05 am

    The Rabid Tigh

  30. 31 Sean Stephenson
    April 17, 2009 at 8:12 am

    The MoJoFlo

  31. 32 Dan H
    April 18, 2009 at 8:07 am

    Keep it simple:

    Mojo Float

  32. 33 Scott
    April 18, 2009 at 9:55 am

    Mojo,

    On Thursday I hunted down two four-packs of Bulldog Root Beer (at the local Cost Plus) and the Haagen Daz Dulce de Leche (at the local Fred Meyer) and my wife and I gave the drink a try.

    Holy lord mother of god… what a root beer float!!! Wow.

    Thanks a million for the “recipe”. Don’t think I’ll ever be able to drink a “normal” root beer float again! :-) And I have to say that the Bulldog Root Beer, by itself, is the smoothest tastiest root beer I’ve had since I was a little kid and we used to go to the A&W Drive-In in Salinas, CA. Great stuff.

    And my pick for the drink’s name… the MoJo Float. Simple. Easty to remember. Get’s your “name” saved for posterity. And it rhymes, sorta’.

    Thanks again!

  33. 34 centurion005
    April 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    The colony
    Black hole float?

    Funny the colony inside the nebula orbiting that black hole looked alot like a rootbeer float.

    Rootbeer is the “Nectar Of The gods”

    Personally mountain dew is my favorite soft drink. Root Beer is second.

    A fun fact. They used Gatorade and Powerade for Ambrosia.Gatorade is great but I think Powerade tasts awful.

  34. 35 centurion005
    April 18, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    Here are my names I came up with for the root beer drink in case you didnt catch them.

    “Bubling Ambrosia”
    “Black hole float”
    “Nectar of the gods”

    a few more

    “Cylonic Explosion”
    “Angelic Visions”
    “God’s grace”
    “Eye of Jupiter”
    “Jumper”-looks a bit like a jump flash.
    “Watchtower”?
    “Phoenix”-it has the same colors of fire. Thats why I came up with the firebird as a name.
    “Promethean ale” Prometheus was the greek god of fire.

    Thats all for now.

  35. April 19, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    “Mojo Rising”

    Alternately, “Mojo Risa-ing”

  36. 37 Dave D.
    April 20, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    Mojo-nectar

  37. 38 Link
    April 20, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    “FTL Float”

    The inclusion of caramel in a root beer float is unique, I must say.

  38. 39 Matt Boardman
    April 20, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    How about DRADIS (Draft Root beer And Dulce de leche Ice cream Special)

    or an FTL (a Float That’s exceptionaL)?

  39. 40 Adrian Gan
    April 21, 2009 at 1:42 am

    I give you… the Mojo Flojo!
    Try saying it.

  40. 41 Boris
    April 21, 2009 at 12:04 pm

    Floatin’ Mojo or Mojo Roots.

  41. April 21, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    dulce de root beer

  42. 43 Jay
    April 21, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    Floajo de leche

  43. 44 johneaves
    April 22, 2009 at 7:56 am

    MOJO!!!!!! hey I finally got here!!! your blog is awesome and it looks like I need a day or two, or three to see it all!!!! well done you mad man!!!

  44. April 23, 2009 at 4:54 am

    ^ Those two are the best so far, I think.

    Did we ever find out what a Warp Core Breach had in it?

    Some BSG ones

    The One True Beer?
    A Knuckledragger (cos it’s just that amazing you can’t walk properly after)
    Viper
    Rising Star (just because I love that old ship)

  45. 46 Andy G
    June 28, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    Do you know of ANYWHERE you can buy Boot Reer? It’s my all time favorite root beer, but I think they may have gone out of business permanently, as I can’t find it anywhere. My kingdom for a supply of Boot Reer!

  46. 47 Steve Jawcee
    August 17, 2012 at 9:11 am

    We just got A&W 12oz. cans here in a store chain in Switzerland! I’m very happy we’ve at least have SOME root beer here now. Gonna try my first floar RIGHT NOW!!

  47. June 20, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    I like “Knuckle Dragger.” Sounds like a serious drink but it’s a root beer float, heh heh. Or I just thought of “Root Daz,” kind of simple and self-descriptive. No, I think it’s got to be KNUCKLE DRAGGER! Many thanks to Jrod for the name and 1000 pardons for taking five years to name a winner :-)


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