ok ok yes i know there’s been less action around here than at an amish prom but i just had an idea for a photoshop contest that nearly made me blast egg nog out of my nose…

I’m calling on my loyal readers who still keep the faith (both of you) to sharpen your stylus and get cracking on this one:

TRONALD MCDONALD

I’m way too lazy to do it myself, but i’d love to see this visualized!  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that someone reading this also thinks the concept is too funny to pass up.  And speaking of posts (and Tron), i’ve got one in mind and it will be online by Monday – promise.

Oh wait, assuming I get more than one entry I need a prize!  Let’s see… ok, the winner gets to play DarthMojo editor and tell ME what the subject of my next post will be.  Want to see more B5?  A brand new Voyager image?  Some behind the scenes BSG stuff?  You win, you choose!

Thanks for staying with us…

you know you’re *really* a nerd when…

This is what happens when you cross a nerd with too much time on his hands with a warped sense of humor (pun intended).  The ever-talented (and ever-warped) Daren Dochterman decided that my urinal puck and Nintendo remote from recent posts were begging to make the leap from pseudo Star Trek wannabe to iron-clad canon.  So, ladies and gentleman, we present to you the USS WiiWee.  Look for the resin kit in first quarter 2010.

you know you’re a nerd when…

 

… the USS Enterprise just keeps showing up no matter where you look.  First it’s in a urinal, now it’s a fishing rod controller for the Nintendo Wii.  What’s next?  The Jefferies Tube in a salami?  A Phaser in a beard trimmer?  Is it us or is the whole world actually trying to look like Star Trek?    [special thanks to reader BobaTrek for sending this one in.  Send yours to DarthMojo4u at AOL].  At the risk of straying off topic for a moment, I just ran across this Photoshop image of Obama as a Vulcan.  Am I the last guy on Earth to see this? 

and the winner is (really this time)…

What a fascinating trip this has been!  Who would have ever guessed I’d be able to milk two weeks worth of posts from a silly picture of a bad Halloween costume?  Who else but sci-fi fans could turn a quick chuckle into a raging ethical debate?  I want to thank everyone who not only took part in the contest, but to those of you who shared it with friends, egged us on in the comments and appreciated the value of the unexpected twist.  In the coming days my cohorts and I will be pontificating on lessons learned and insights gained as a result of all this tom-foolery, but for now we need to put on our tux, turn on the lights and hand out some trophies…

contest cheaters exposed!

One of the cool things about WordPress is they provide you with all kinds of useful data about your blog; not only do you get an accurate count of how many people are visiting and what they’re reading, but it also lets you know where they are coming from.  With one click, I can see which sites are linking to me and how many people visited Darth Mojo as a result of those links.  Naturally, if I see an unfamiliar site suddenly pointing hundreds of people my way, I click over to them to see what all the fuss is about (usually it’s someone telling his or her readers to check out a post).  Today I noticed a few dozen people had been referred to my blog from a discussion group I’d never heard of, so I clicked the link to investigate.  And that’s when I discovered the cheaters.

vote: you choose the winner of “XXL Kirk” Photoshop contest! (updated)

Citizens of the Federation, it’s time to do your civic duty and vote for your favorite image in our “XXL Captain Kirk” Photoshop contest (review the last two posts if you’re in need of a briefing).  Staying true to the spirit of Star Trek, our hailing frequencies certainly reached out to the furthest star, as entries have come in from across the globe to create a truly international contest (just the way Gene would have liked it).   You’ll find the ballot after the jump, where we’ll show you the “final five” images and tell you a little bit about the evil geniuses behind them…

11/12 update: While it seems like “Khaaaaan!!” is the front runner, it’s still important for everyone to vote - as of now, the race for second place is VERY close, so, to keep things interesting, I will also offer a special prize (to be announced) for the second place contestant.  The runner-up spot is totally up for grabs at this point, so I suggest those of you in the running get out there and do some campaigning!

photoshop “xxl kirk costume” contest (final entries are in!)

How would the world be different if the guy from our favorite Halloween costume  (as discussed in the previous post) had actually been the one to land the classic role of James T. Kirk?  What if there was no Shatner?  Help the world visualize this with your mad Photoshop skills and send your best effort to DarthMojo4U at AOL (Click here for a clean image of “big Kirk” to help get you started).  The winner will receive the ultimate prize – the thrill of victory!  I can’t wait to see what everyone comes up with.  Spread the word!  And remember to check back with this post often - I’ll keep updating as new images are submitted!

halloween star trek mystery

Friday I was assembling a few odds and ends for my last minute costume when I encountered the above abomination at the Halloween store. Generally speaking, they choose a model for the packaging that at least bears some vague physical similarity to the person or character they’re trying to market – but in this case, WTF?!  Obviously they weren’t even trying to go for a Chris Pine lookalike, and he’s fatter than Shatner ever was, so, all I can come up with is they wanted a model that made men say “hell, I’d be a better looking Captain Kirk than this guy!”  Unless the costume is supposed to be bloated Kirk after McCoy injected him with the comedy virus. What was my costume, you ask?

you know you’re a nerd when…

… you stare at a urinal puck and you see the primary hull of the USS Enterprise.

 

you know you’re a nerd when…

… you’re shopping at Macy’s and out of the corner of your eye you see a sign that you swear says “sith.”  [have you got a You Know You're A Nerd moment you'd like to share?  Send it in to DarthMojo4U at aol and we'll publish our faves]

i broke my lightsaber (with video)

It was bound to happen eventually.  Like any self-respecting Star Wars fan, I have one of the greatest toys every made – the Master Replicas Lightsaber.  As anyone who has played with one will tell you, the first time you get ahold of one of these and activate it you get a rush that is possibly the greatest toy experience of your life.   What we wouldn’t have given as kids to have one of those!   Ok, it may have taken 30 years but hey, at least we have ’em now.  And I don’t care how old you are, swinging one of those things around puts such a grin on your face it’s easily the second best form of stress relief in the known universe.  That is, it’s all fun & games until what happened last night happens to you… 

The sweet taste of spam

One of my email accounts has a very untrustworthy spam filter so I sift through it by hand, generally deleting plate-fulls of the stuff at a time.  However, over the last month or so, I’ve noticed some pretty hysterical headlines for “male enhancement” products and have been saving my spam!  I don’t know if they’re trying to be funny or if it’s a result of poor translation from whatever third world country is serving this stuff up, but either way I thought I’d share some of the more amusing moments with you.  I’ve even hunted down graphics that seem to “fit the mood…”

shafted by shatner

I’m not sure how public this story has gotten, but mere hours after I posted images of William Shatner in 3D, the following events unfolded (cooincidence?).  I thought I’d turn the mike over to my good friend Howard Cronson, who is at the center of the action…

It’s Thursday, August 6, and I’m sitting at home watching the Red Sox play the Yankees. As a devout Boston Red Sox fan living near Boston, during a game this is the only spot you’ll find me in.   In fact, it would take an Act Of God to pull me away from a Sox game.

Well, an Act Of God or William Shatner, that is.  So why does he mock me so?

how to survive a cylon uprising

There’s been a lot of talk about Battlestar Galactica  and its shiny metal co-stars of late, and it’s all coming to a head on Friday (June 12) when the 92nd street Y in Manhattan hosts a panel entitled  Battlestar Galactica: Cyborgs on the Horizon.   The discussion will feature several cast members from BSG as well as real live roboticists all trying to answer the question “is the robot uprising that will spell doom for us all inevitable?”   Galactica Sitrep has two interviews with experts in the field who naively believe that a robot rebellion is about as likely as a reboot of Galactica 1980.   While it’s all fine and dandy to play Mr. Optimist and dismiss the repeated warnings of our favorite movies and TV shows, one question begs to be asked – what do we do if they’re wrong?   Luckily for all of us, I’ve got the answer.

note to military: we have CGI now

 

Yesterday morning, New York and New Jersey residents had the felgercarb scared out of them when F16 fighter jets and a 747 painted up like Air Force One buzzed lower Manhattan and New Jersey’s Goldman Sachs Tower (the state’s tallest building).  The planes flew at low altitude, rattling windows, stopping traffic and panicking thousands who spontaneously began evacuating their homes, offices and bowels.   Was it another terrorist attack?  No, thank god.  A plane in distress?  Nope.  A training exercise intended to safeguard American soil?  Wrong again!  The reason for the flyover that struck fear into the heart of a city still on edge was a photo op.  That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, the armed forces sailed these planes dangerously close to occupied buildings – without issuing an advance warning - so they could snap a couple of cool publicity pictures.  Not only was this stunt thoughtless and cruel, it was totally unnecessary – haven’t the US government heard of CGI yet?

and the winner is…

Ladies, gentlemen and small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri, we have a winner!  Thanks to everyone who contributed a name for my root beer float recipe.  Some of my favorites were Pan Galactica Gargle Blaster, The Pickled Fisheye, Daz Mojo, and Ambrojo.   For some reason, the majority of contestants thought they had to somehow make the name of the drink related to BSG, which I found very confusing since none of the ingredients include sheet metal, Tylium or naked Booomers.  On the other hand, I applaud those who recognized we were naming a root beer float based on the fact that it used caramel ice cream instead of the traditional vanilla (or, I should say, the one  guy who took that into consideration).  Still, try as I might, I couldn’t ignore the clever BSG-related names that you crazy, knuckle-headed Darth Mojo readers came up with!

NSFW: best root beer float ever (updated with contest!)

As I was lying in my hospital bed, mentally skirting the edge of another galaxy (thanks to the combination of two shots of Morpha, Vicodin and a muscle relaxant), I realized that it would be a big mistake for me to die without sharing with the world my own, personal recipie for the Best Root Beet Float ever.  So, dear readers, I now present you with my miracle drink and implore all of you to hunt down the ingredients and indulge…