NSFW: best root beer float ever (updated with contest!)

As I was lying in my hospital bed, mentally skirting the edge of another galaxy (thanks to the combination of two shots of Morpha, Vicodin and a muscle relaxant), I realized that it would be a big mistake for me to die without sharing with the world my own, personal recipie for the Best Root Beet Float ever.  So, dear readers, I now present you with my miracle drink and implore all of you to hunt down the ingredients and indulge…