Dear Al-Qaeda operatives,
If you’re planning another terrorist attack in New York, please consider this building for your next target:
It’s the new hotel on Rivington street on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. It’s absolutely hideous and stands out like a giant, black and blue sore thumb, marring a landscape otherwise unadulterated by oddly shaped, tall buildings. It destroys the “simple, local neighborhood” feel of the Lower East Side and really needs to go away. Think of what an easy target it would be! A pilot with no experience at all could hit this thing with one eye closed. I hear they have copies of “The Satanic Verses” in every room and some educated women working there. Go get ‘em!